How Psychodynamic Therapy Helps ACOAs Process Unresolved Trauma
Growing up in an environment where addiction played a central role can have profound, lasting effects on emotional well-being. As Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoAs), many people experience deep emotional wounds that continue to shape their lives long after leaving the alcoholic home. The trauma that comes from growing up in such an environment doesn’t simply go away—it needs to be processed, understood, and healed.
Psychodynamic therapy is one of the most effective therapeutic approaches for addressing the deep-rooted trauma experienced by ACoAs. This therapy provides a safe space to explore how unconscious patterns, unresolved childhood conflicts, and emotional neglect continue to influence adult life. In this blog post, we’ll dive into the ways in which psychodynamic therapy helps ACoAs process unresolved trauma, heal, and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
What is Psychodynamic Therapy?
Before we dive into the specifics of how psychodynamic therapy helps ACoAs, let’s first define what psychodynamic therapy is and how it works. Psychodynamic therapy is a form of talk therapy that aims to bring unconscious thoughts, feelings, and memories into awareness, allowing individuals to understand and resolve deep-seated emotional issues. This approach focuses on the influence of past experiences, particularly early childhood, and how those experiences shape present-day behaviors, emotions, and relationships.
Unlike some other forms of therapy that focus on the present or behavioral change, psychodynamic therapy seeks to understand the root causes of emotional distress. It helps individuals connect the dots between their past and present, uncover unconscious conflicts, and make healthier choices based on newfound insight.
In the context of Adult Children of Alcoholics, psychodynamic therapy can be particularly beneficial for addressing the emotional scars left by growing up in a dysfunctional, emotionally unpredictable home. By exploring these unresolved traumas, ACoAs can gain clarity and understanding about how their childhood experiences shaped their adult relationships, coping mechanisms, and self-worth.
The Trauma of Growing Up in an Alcoholic Home
For many ACoAs, childhood was a time filled with unpredictability, emotional neglect, and sometimes abuse. Alcoholism in the home can create an environment of constant fear, anxiety, and confusion, especially when a child is unable to predict how a parent will act from day to day. Parents who struggle with addiction may be emotionally unavailable, dismissive, or erratic, which leaves children feeling unseen, unheard, and unimportant.
As children, we depend on our caregivers for emotional validation, safety, and stability. When these needs go unmet, we often develop coping mechanisms to survive. Some common experiences for ACoAs include:
Chronic anxiety due to never knowing when the next emotional storm will hit.
Low self-esteem because love and affection felt conditional on good behavior or pleasing a parent.
Difficulty trusting others due to an unreliable parent who may have been inconsistent or neglectful.
People-pleasing tendencies as a way to gain approval or avoid conflict, often at the expense of one's own needs.
These emotional wounds, often left unprocessed, can continue to affect an ACoA’s relationships, mental health, and ability to function in adulthood. Psychodynamic therapy provides a pathway for healing these wounds by exploring the root causes of emotional distress and helping individuals reframe their understanding of the past.
How Psychodynamic Therapy Helps Process Unresolved Trauma
Psychodynamic therapy helps ACoAs in multiple ways by addressing the deep-rooted emotional wounds caused by growing up in an alcoholic home. Through self-exploration and uncovering unconscious patterns, this therapeutic approach allows ACoAs to understand how their past has shaped their present-day struggles. Let’s explore how psychodynamic therapy works to heal unresolved trauma for ACoAs.
1. Exploring Unconscious Patterns from Childhood
One of the core principles of psychodynamic therapy is that much of our behavior is influenced by unconscious thoughts and feelings—especially those stemming from childhood. For ACoAs, the trauma from growing up in an alcoholic household often remains unconscious, influencing behavior without being fully understood.
For example, an ACoA may struggle with people-pleasing behaviors as an adult, but they may not be fully aware of why they find it so difficult to set boundaries or say “no.” In therapy, a trained psychodynamic therapist helps the individual uncover the unconscious reasons behind this pattern—often linked to childhood experiences of seeking approval or love from an alcoholic parent.
By bringing these unconscious patterns to the surface, psychodynamic therapy allows ACoAs to understand their behaviors better. This increased self-awareness is crucial in healing, as it allows individuals to begin making conscious choices rather than being driven by unconscious fears, anxieties, or old survival mechanisms.
2. Understanding Family Dynamics and Their Impact
In psychodynamic therapy, there’s a focus on understanding family dynamics and how they shape an individual’s emotional development. ACoAs often grew up in homes where alcohol created a dysfunctional dynamic. A parent might have been emotionally distant or abusive, or the child may have taken on the role of caretaker, trying to shield the family from the chaos of addiction.
Through therapy, an ACoA can begin to understand how these dynamics impacted their sense of self and how they relate to others. For example, a child raised by an alcoholic parent may develop an unconscious belief that their worth is tied to taking care of others. This belief can carry over into adulthood, leading to codependent behaviors in romantic relationships or friendships.
By understanding these family dynamics, ACoAs can begin to recognize unhealthy relational patterns and work toward healthier, more balanced connections with others.
3. Healing Shame and Guilt
Growing up in an alcoholic home can lead to feelings of shame and guilt. Children of alcoholics often internalize the belief that they are somehow responsible for their parent’s addiction or that they are unworthy of love. These feelings of inadequacy can persist well into adulthood, causing low self-esteem, emotional numbness, and difficulties in forming healthy relationships.
Psychodynamic therapy allows ACoAs to explore these feelings of shame and guilt in a safe, nonjudgmental space. Through this exploration, individuals can start to separate themselves from the shame they carried from childhood. They can learn that their parent’s addiction was never their fault and that their worth is inherent, not dependent on their ability to "fix" or "care for" others.
The therapeutic process helps ACoAs rebuild their self-esteem and self-worth by challenging these deeply held beliefs and reframing them. This can lead to healing and the development of a more positive sense of self.
4. Breaking the Cycle of Dysfunction
Many ACoAs find themselves replicating the unhealthy patterns they experienced as children. For example, an ACoAmay enter relationships where they unconsciously seek out emotionally unavailable or abusive partners, recreating the emotional chaos they grew up with. Psychodynamic therapy helps ACoAs understand how they’ve unconsciously repeated these patterns and provides the tools to break the cycle.
Through insight-oriented therapy, ACoAs learn how to make healthier choices in their relationships by understanding how past experiences have influenced their current behavior. Therapy helps individuals build emotional resilience and break free from the patterns of dysfunction they inherited.
5. Processing and Integrating Childhood Trauma
The trauma experienced by ACoAs often goes unprocessed, causing emotional numbness, unresolved grief, or repressed anger. Psychodynamic therapy provides a safe space for ACoAs to confront and process these difficult emotions. By revisiting the emotional wounds of childhood in a therapeutic context, individuals can begin to integrate their experiences and heal from them.
This process involves emotional release—allowing feelings of anger, sadness, or fear to be expressed and understood in a healthy way. As these emotions are processed, ACoAs experience relief from the emotional weight they’ve been carrying for years. The healing process involves emotional validation and self-compassion, both of which are essential for recovery.
The Role of the Therapeutic Relationship in Psychodynamic Therapy
In psychodynamic therapy, the relationship between therapist and client plays a key role in the healing process. For ACoAs, the therapist provides a secure attachment in which they can explore their feelings of vulnerability, fear, and self-doubt. The therapeutic relationship allows the individual to experience emotional safety and trust—something that may have been lacking in childhood.
By developing a secure therapeutic relationship, ACoAs are able to experience healthy emotional attachment, which can positively influence their future relationships. At my practice, my role as a therapist is not only to listen and understand but also to offer guidance in developing healthier ways of relating to oneself and others.
How Psychodynamic Therapy Leads to Lasting Change
The change that happens in psychodynamic therapy is not superficial or temporary. It’s deep and lasting because it addresses the root causes of emotional distress. Through gaining insight into their past, ACoAs can understand the unconscious patterns that have held them back and work toward healthier ways of thinking, feeling, and relating.
Psychodynamic therapy provides tools for emotional resilience, self-awareness, and self-compassion, which allow ACoAs to heal from past trauma and build healthier, more fulfilling relationships. By confronting unresolved trauma, ACoAs can leave behind the emotional chaos of their childhood and move forward with greater clarity and emotional freedom.
Conclusion: Healing from the Past, Moving Toward the Future
The trauma of growing up as an Adult Child of an Alcoholic (ACoA) is not something that can be healed overnight. However, psychodynamic therapy offers a powerful tool for understanding and processing the deep emotional wounds that often go unacknowledged. By exploring past experiences, unconscious patterns, and unresolved trauma, ACoAs can heal and create a brighter, healthier future for themselves.
If you’re ready to begin your healing journey, I encourage you to reach out. Together, we can explore how psychodynamic therapy can help you process unresolved trauma and build a healthier, more fulfilling life. It’s time to heal, grow, and take the next step toward emotional well-being.
About Katie Luman, LPC
Katie is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Georgia. She provides in person therapy at her Marietta office and provides virtual sessions for the entire state of Georgia. She enjoys helping people learn how to love others well while still honoring their own personal needs. If you are interested in treatment for Codependency then call or email Katie today!
Disclaimer: This is in no way a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or mental health services. This is for educational purposes only and should be in used only in conjunction in working with a licensed mental health professional. If you would like help working towards a healthy dependence in your relationships I can help. Click here to schedule an appointment.
